Feb 17, 2026
Based on the Catholic Therapy Center Podcast episode with guest therapist, Katelyn Smedley, LMFT (#99805).
If you’ve ever considered starting therapy, you’ve probably asked yourself some version of this question:
What am I actually walking into?
A couch?
A clipboard?
Awkward silence?
Forty-five minutes of crying?
Homework?
Someone analyzing your childhood?
For many people, the first step toward therapy isn’t relief — it’s anxiety.
And yet, that first step is often already a movement toward hope.
Because most people don’t begin therapy when life feels stable and steady. They come when something feels off. When the weight is heavy. When the coping strategies aren’t working anymore. When the marriage feels strained. When anxiety won’t quiet down. When trauma still echoes.
And beneath all of that is one quiet, trembling question:
Can I actually be healed?
Therapy Begins With Hope
One of the most important expectations to establish at the beginning of therapy is simple:
You are not broken beyond repair.
You are not too complicated.
You are not too far gone.
You are not “that one case” that won’t get better.
Therapy does not begin with a diagnosis.
It begins with hope.
Not shallow optimism.
Not toxic positivity.
But grounded, steady hope.
Hope that there is a path forward.
Hope that what feels overwhelming can be untangled.
Hope that healing is possible — even if you can’t see how yet.
From a Catholic perspective, hope is not wishful thinking.
It is a theological virtue.
It is rooted in the belief that God is a God of restoration.
“I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.”
— John 10:10
Therapy becomes a space where that promise is explored, wrestled with, and slowly embodied.
You Are in the Driver’s Seat
There’s another expectation that often surprises people:
You are not coming to therapy to be “fixed.”
You are not handing your life to a professional mechanic.
You are in the driver’s seat.
A good therapist is not creating dependency.
The goal is not lifelong reliance.
The goal is freedom.
You are the expert in your own life.
You are the one living it.
You are the one making decisions.
You are the one participating in your healing.
Therapy is guidance.
Support.
Perspective.
Tools.
Companionship.
But you are not powerless.
In fact, you already carry within you something far more powerful than you may realize.
The Inheritance You Didn’t Earn
Many people come into therapy with an identity built around their wounds.
Especially in trauma-focused work, it’s easy for someone’s story to become:
“This happened to me.”
“This is what was done.”
“This is who I am because of it.”
And conventional healing can sometimes stop at:
You survived.
But the Gospel promises something deeper than survival.
You were created in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:27).
That identity precedes your trauma.
It precedes your sin.
It precedes what was done to you.
It precedes what you’ve done.
There is a core goodness in you that was not erased.
That is not something you earned.
It is something you inherited.
You are not merely a survivor.
You are a beloved son or daughter.
And therapy, at its best, becomes a place where you rediscover that identity beneath the layers of pain.
This is the difference between surviving and resurrecting.
Christ did not merely survive the Cross.
He rose.
The resurrection is not denial of suffering.
It is transformation of suffering.
And the same pattern unfolds in the human heart.
The Resistance to Healing
Here’s something most people don’t expect to hear:
Sometimes parts of us don’t want to be healed.
It sounds strange.
Who wouldn’t want relief?
But healing can threaten identities we’ve built around our pain.
It can challenge roles we’ve adopted.
It can disrupt coping mechanisms that once kept us safe.
If I am no longer “the anxious one”…
If I am no longer “the strong one who handles everything”…
If I am no longer defined by what happened to me…
Who am I?
We live in a culture experiencing a profound identity crisis.
And even as Catholics, we can subtly identify more with our brokenness than our redemption.
Yes, we are sinners.
But we are redeemed sinners.
Your sin is not your identity.
Your trauma is not your identity.
Your performance is not your identity.
“See what love the Father has bestowed on us that we may be called the children of God.”
— 1 John 3:1
Therapy becomes a space where we gently disentangle false identities from true ones.
What Actually Happens in a Session?
Most sessions are 45–50 minutes.
That might not sound like much.
But it’s enough.
It’s enough to:
- Slow down
- Notice patterns
- Name distortions
- Regulate emotions
- Practice tools
- Reframe narratives
- Sit with hard truths
Some people respond well to structured approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy — identifying distorted thoughts and reshaping them.
Others need space to wrestle with bigger existential questions:
Am I allowed to have hope?
Is God trustworthy?
Am I worthy of love?
Many sessions involve grounding work — breathing, noticing the body, anchoring in the present moment.
And here’s where Catholic therapy differs in an important way.
Mindfulness, at its core, is about presence.
But Catholic presence is relational.
We are not emptying ourselves into nothingness.
We are placing ourselves in Someone’s presence.
Every breath is received.
Every moment is sustained.
Every grounding exercise can become communion.
God is not an abstract force.
He is relational Love.
“God is love.”
— 1 John 4:8
Healing becomes deeper when we are not the final destination of our awareness.
We are participants in relationship.
Normalizing the Impossible Standards
Another powerful early step in therapy is simple normalization.
Especially for women — and increasingly for men — the expectations are crushing.
Be exceptional at work.
Be fully present at home.
Be emotionally available.
Be physically fit.
Be spiritually mature.
Be socially engaged.
Be calm.
Be productive.
Be perfect.
And do it all effortlessly.
Social media doesn’t help.
Influencers don’t help.
Comparison certainly doesn’t help.
So one simple question often shifts everything:
Who do you actually know who is doing all of that perfectly?
Silence.
Most of the standards we’re measuring ourselves against are curated illusions.
Therapy helps right-size problems.
On a scale of 1 to 100 — where 100 is catastrophic — is this truly a 100?
Many of the things that feel overwhelming are real.
They matter.
But they are not all 100.
And sometimes the smaller “100s” are distractions from the deeper wound we don’t want to face.
Laundry is not the core wound.
The aging parent is not the core wound.
The missed deadline is not the core wound.
Sometimes they’re shields protecting something deeper.
Therapy gently moves toward that deeper layer — without shaming you for protecting yourself.
The Organized Purse
Imagine coming into therapy and dumping out your purse.
Receipts.
Old notes.
Lip balm.
Trash.
Important documents.
Things you forgot were in there.
Most of us are carrying emotional purses like that.
Therapy is the process of laying it all out.
Together we ask:
What needs to be kept?
What needs to be stored?
What needs to be grieved?
What needs to be thrown away?
What doesn’t belong to you in the first place?
The goal isn’t to pretend nothing was in there.
The goal is to leave knowing what you carry — and why.
That is freedom.
Leaving Therapy
When someone finishes a season of therapy, the hope is not perfection.
It’s:
- Greater confidence
- Greater freedom
- Clearer identity
- Stronger support systems
- Practical tools
- A renewed sense of purpose
Therapy is not something you “graduate from” forever.
It is a tool in your toolbox.
You can return in a hard season.
You can step away in a strong one.
The door is open.
But ideally, you leave with:
An organized emotional life.
A clearer sense of mission.
A deeper awareness that you were created for something meaningful.
A stronger attachment to God and to community.
Not because we ignored your pain.
But because we walked through it.
You Are Not Meant to Do This Alone
One of the most common realities in modern life is isolation.
Many people come into therapy with one hour a week being their only support.
That is not sustainable.
Healing flourishes in community:
- Church
- Friendships
- Small groups
- Marriage
- Family
- Authentic connection
We are made in the image of a relational God.
We heal relationally.
Therapy is often a bridge — not a replacement — for real community.
If You’re Considering Therapy
If you’re reading this because you’re considering therapy, notice something:
You’re already participating in your healing.
You’re asking questions.
You’re seeking clarity.
You’re exploring hope.
That matters.
You were not created merely to survive your wounds.
You were created to live abundantly.
And healing, while not instant,
is possible.
Not because you are strong enough.
But because grace is real.
Identity runs deeper than trauma.
And the resurrection is not just history — it is a pattern.
Reflection Questions
- What am I hoping therapy would change?
Am I seeking relief, clarity, identity, support — or something else? - Do I secretly believe I am too broken to heal?
Where did that belief begin? - How much of my identity is centered on my wounds?
Who would I be without them? - What expectations am I carrying that may not be realistic?
Who told me I had to be everything? - Where do I need more support outside of therapy?
What small step could I take toward community? - Do I believe God desires my healing?
What would change if I truly trusted that?
You are not defined by your worst moment.
You are not limited to survival.
You are not alone in the work.
Healing is not magic.
It is participation.
And it begins with hope.
The Catholic Therapy Center 