Have you ever heard the saying check on your strong friends? Sometimes we have friends in our lives who seem like they have it altogether and sometimes we have friends who are very clearly in need of our help and support. As Catholics, we are called to be the support for our strong and struggling friends alike, and to help them carry any crosses that life throws their way. 

Spotter

Whether it’s a parents’ divorce, bad grades, a bad break up, a pornography addiction, or feeling generally anxious, we all have real struggles. Most of the time these crosses are not clearly visible to others and it is critical to remember that God never intends this suffering, and it was never part of His plan. Even though God doesn’t want suffering, He absolutely uses it to bear good fruit and gives us tangible help, just like Jesus had the physical help of Simon of Cyrene to carry His cross to Calvary.

Hidden Strength

Just like Simon of Cyrene helping Jesus, we too are called to help those around us amidst their struggles in very real, and often simple ways. Simon most likely didn’t have the whole picture about what his help would do and maybe even seriously questioned if he could help at all. But Simon’s help amidst Jesus’ passion was not overlooked. We see that this example is a model for how we can help and receive help from others. This help we both give and receive isn’t just based on our strength or personal perfection, but like Simon and Jesus, we can rely on real grace of the Holy Spirit to walk and carry the crosses before us with the strength of God and others. 

Lifting With Others

So how do we help those around us in real, tangible ways? Here are a few ways we can mirror the aide and model of Simon and Jesus carrying the cross together:

Presence – One of the biggest tools in helping others is our presence. We might not have all the answers, and we don’t need to, but we can be present to listen to them and love them as they carry their cross. We can simply let them know that we are there for them when they need an ear, shoulder, or a hand to help. 

Reflect That – Amidst carrying a cross, people often just want to be seen and understood. As someone lets you into their struggle, you can simply reflect back what they are sharing with you. It can be as simple as “I hear/see that you are feeling [insert feeling here]” and then let them know that you care for them amidst their struggle. 

The Check-In – We can’t always know how someone wants help, but we can let them know we are here if they need to talk and we can ask them the simple question of “how can I help?”. Sometimes we can directly help those in need by offering our time, help studying, accountability with addictive habits, or letting them know they are cared for. Other times we can point them in the right direction for receiving help from their parents, their parish priest, a therapist, or other support in their lives.

Life often presents us with real crosses for ourselves and others. With the model and help of Christ we are able to lift with others their crosses in real, simple, and powerful ways. As we lift and support others, we can remember that Christ is always at work amidst sufferings for our absolute greatest good and ultimate healing. 

To schedule an appointment with Adam Cross LMFT #116623 please call (805) 428-3755, email amc.cross7@gmail.com, or visit the contact page.