Author: Brandon Ferruzza, Associate Marriage & Family Therapist #159436

“Lead me to the rock that is higher than I; for you are my refuge” – Psalm 61:2-3

Do you remember when you were a kid in school practicing a fire drill? You hear the alarm, cover your ears, stop what you were doing, leave everything, swiftly (without panic) walk to the nearest exit, and go to the designated meeting area outside. If there were an actual fire, you would know what to do and “stop, drop, and roll.” We plan and practice because in an actual emergency, our “fight-or-flight” instinctual parts of our brain kick in, while the parts of our brain that plan and formulate sound judgments become less in control. 

We need to prepare for emotional emergencies as well–when the storms of life roll in and we feel overwhelmed and caught off guard by sadness, anxiety, frustration, burnout, and stress at work, at school, in our life trajectory, in our daily tasks, in our relationships with family, spouses, or friends, etc. 

Jesus also wants us to be prepared for life’s storms and maintain our peace. He says, “do not be anxious about your life” (Matthew 6:25), and “in the world you will have trouble; but take courage, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). 

Here are some practical steps to plan ahead for life’s storms and maintain our peace.

1) Remember your why. Ask yourself, what are you living for? What are the joys of your life and the things you love most? What are you grateful for? What are your values? What are your goals? I would answer that I am living for God and Heaven, my family and friends, and my career helping people as a Catholic therapist (only to name a few). Remembering your why can provide you with a compass and the motivation to persevere. 

2) Remember your support system. Who are your best friends? Who are the people you can go to for emotional support? Who are the people you can go to for practical support (resources or advice)? Who can you go to for spiritual support? Who can you go to for therapeutic support? Who can you go to for emergency support? It is good not to carry our burdens alone, and reaching out for support when needed is a strength, not a weakness.

3) Remember your warning signs. What are your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that you experience when storms come? I can often feel anxious, tense, sad, tired, sluggish, etc. I think “this is too much for me” or “I don’t have what it takes.” I may sleep more, be less patient (with others and myself), ramble when I am talking, or give up on my self-care strategies when I need them the most. 

4) Remember your self-care practices and forms of play/leisure. What is a healthy, refreshing meal that you can eat and enjoy? What is a form of exercise that you can commit to and enjoy, even if it is just a brisk walk around the block (I personally love those)? What is a craft or outlet that you enjoy? Recently, I have been enjoying “Paint by Sticker” books and puzzles (cheaper options than Lego sets, which I also love). What form of media can you enjoy without falling into binging or “doom scrolling”? If you’ve read my previous blog, you know I love Marvel movies (I rewatch “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” quite often). I also have been reading “Through the Heart of St. Joseph” by Fr. Boniface Hicks, which I highly recommend. What practices help ground you, give you perspective, and foster felt safety and calm? I experience restoration when I spend time in reflection, meditation, and silent prayer, when I read or recall Scripture passages that speak to me, when I take deep breaths while thinking “Come (Breathe In) Holy Spirit (Breathe Out),” and when I check in with myself to ask how I am feeling and what I am grateful for. It can be helpful to put these self-care practices in your calendar so that they are prioritized as a part of your day. 

Multiple times in the Gospels, Jesus spends day and night preaching, healing, and miraculously feeding large crowds. Then, Jesus makes time to go off alone to rest and spend time with his Father in prayer. During one of these times, the disciples were on a boat “out on the sea, and he [Jesus] was off alone on the land. And he saw that they were distressed in rowing, for the wind was against them. And about the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea… immediately he spoke to them and said, ‘Take heart, it is I; have no fear.’ And he got into the boat with them and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded” (Mark 6:47-51). Jesus is so patient with us because this was not the first time the disciples were distressed in a boat on a stormy sea: “And a great storm of wind arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But Jesus was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care if we perish?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?” (Mark 4:37-40). Imagine if the disciples instead fell asleep like Jesus, or at least practiced quieting their doubtful hearts like a child in the arms of a loving parent (see Psalm 131). Jesus truly does care for us, and he wants to teach his beloved children to practice looking to him, trusting him, and finding peace in the midst of life’s storms that come and go.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” – Matthew 11:28

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About Brandon

Associate Marriage & Family Therapist #159436

Brandon is a therapist committed to accompanying people in growing secure relationships with others, God, and themselves. He is passionate about bringing God’s light, love, and healing to people’s attachment wounds and places of trauma that challenge their identity as sons and daughters worthy of love.

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